I don't know what love is.

I'm sick of being the only one of my friends who isn't dating or doesn't have a stable social life. Being out of college for a break is incredibly sickening to me. I am so ready to be back around people my age... I'm so ready to be back around guys. I know I'm getting to a bad point because I'm back to writing love stories, *ugh*. Love stories are the worst, I think I make them too fantasy because God knows I don't know what Love is anymore. After my ex I just feel like an idiot. I had thought I knew everything, I thought we'd get married and be happy for ever after. I'm so stupid. How could I not see past my fairy-tale dream and see reality? But the more I see reality, the more I'm pretty sure love doesn't exist. Sure my parents love each other. But what IS love? I don't understand it. I can't wrap my mind around it. And I'm pretty sure no one will ever be able to show me.

And just knowing that... gives me this intense amount of sorrow. Like a brick being throw into my chest. I can't describe it. I don't think love was ever meant for me.