Tonight is just one of those nights that I just want to cry my heart out. Blast my music, go some place far, far away, and bawl. Bawl until I can't see, until I fall asleep, until my eyes are dry. I want to run away... I just don't know exactly what I'm running from.
I wish I wasn't so messed up. I wish I didn't need to take these stupid anti-anxiety medications. I wish I could just be normal. I wish I was so much better than what I am. I just feel so useless. I'm not going full time in college and even though I just got hired at a job, they aren't calling me to start training. And I just feel so stupid. I feel like I'm absolutely useless right now. I just wish I could find some way to get out of here and actually do something useful in my life.
God... I need you. I just need you to hear me. What am I supposed to do? When I get like this, there is no stopping it. I can't do anything but beat myself up about stupid stuff, I can't help but feel like a total idiot, and so angry.
Lord, I just want you to comfort me, please? I know I'm selfish. I know I'm a hypocrite and coward... but God... I don't know how to change. I just need you so badly right now.
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