Hello there.

Well this is akward. I just spent the past ten minutes pumped about making this blog because it is quicker for me to type than write like I have been doing but now, somehow, the amount of time it took me to create a new email address and pseudo name for this blog just took out all my energy.

I guess the least I can do now is give you something more than just the bland how do you dos.

Here it is: I'm 20 years old. I spent from the time I was 15 to the time I was 19 in a relationship that ended a few months ago because I was growing closer to God and the boy I was dating wanted nothing to do with what I was trying to tell him. Don't get him wrong, he was religious and all that but never really cared what I was saying when I told him, I don't feel like going to second/third base anymore because it actually makes me feel like crap after and because I really know where I want to focus my life (on God) now. He thought that was me saying: I don't like you. And eventually past all his worrying that I didn't like him anymore and his guilt-ing me into doing things I didn't like, I started to actually... not like him. Imagine that?
So here I sit a few months later totally over him, no matter how much he claims to have changed I am steering clear of that mistake again. And wondering: well now what?

Well now what indeed. Here I sit, waiting. Waiting for God to show me. And trust me, it's not easy, it's not like I like saying to people "I'm going to school to be a Nurse but I still don't know what's going to happen, I'm just leaving it up to God who you probably think is just some big imaginary guy in the sky." But that's basically what I do. Thank the good Lord most of my friends are Christians since I'm involved on my college campus in an organization called CRU (Campus Crusades for Christ) and they understand. But oh boy... when I talk to anyone else it sure can get some people to shut up... or start them off... one of the two.

So my problem now is that I am a hopeless romantic and without a guy in my life I am getting antsy. It's that age you can't help it I think... so it's been hard to be patient with God and focus on Jesus while he makes the perfect guy for me. I guess this is just where I can vent for now, while I wait.

I have a lot to talk about... the other boys in my life that I don't really know about... all that I have learned so far... but I guess they will have to wait, just like me. Hopefully, we will both be rewarded with a follow up :)

Blessings,
Lizzy